This is great for performance review season, so people can learn from their peers about different approaches (and pitfalls to avoid!) when having difficult conversations with their direct reports. ask the faux direct report if they have feedback to share with their faux manager.ask the audience what skills they saw the faux manager using.ask the faux manager how it went, and if they would do anything differently.After each one, debrief with the whole group: Give them up to 6 minutes for each practice conversation, then call time. In each example pair, one person will play the manager role, and the other will play their direct report.Ĭreate fake scenarios (or use the ones below!) and share one with each pair so they can practice without using real-life information. Ask six folks to practice giving/receiving feedback at the front of the room, so that the rest of the managers can see different styles and approaches to giving feedback in your group. Grab a conference room for an hour and invite all the managers in your organization. Hold a “difficult conversations showcase” What worked well? What went sideways? What should they try next time? What should they avoid doing? The observer’s goal should be to give solid feedback to the feedback-giver, to help them deliver excellent (actionable, specific, productive) feedback in real life. The observer should write down notes as they practice. Will the real-life recipient get defensive? Shut down? Cry? Something else? The practice recipient should play the part, but shouldn’t go over the top-try to make it as realistic as possible, to help the feedback-giver get some good practice. The feedback-giver should instruct the recipient on how they should play the part.
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Pick another person to pretend to be the recipient of the feedback, and pick a third person to observe the practice session. Pick one person to practice giving real life feedback. It’s your job to help them be successful! Below, I’ve outlined some ways that you can bring difficult conversations practice into your workplace, to help your coworkers receive the helpful, specific and actionable feedback they deserve. Practicing difficult conversations and feedback helps you be a better manager, but the real reason you should do it is to fully support the person on the receiving end. Of course there were surprises in the conversation (you can’t prepare for every single potential!), but I was able to handle it much more productively having practiced. But more importantly, it made me much less scared when I had the real conversation, because I had already practiced what it felt like to be punched in the face with these emotions. Over time, practicing the feedback helped me to hone the words that I needed to say, and avoid the potential traps my teammate would create.
#Role play scripts how to
I learned a ton about how to create space and keep the conversation moving forward by watching them roleplay. Sometimes the managers would play my role, and I would play the part of my teammate, so I could see how they would approach the feedback differently. Otherwise the talk could get derailed about the specifics of each and every example.” “Don’t list out every specific example keep the conversation focused on how the behavior needs to change. “Remember to put the ball back in her court, and make it clear what the next steps are.” “Don’t say ‘always’ or ‘never’-it’s a trap.” They played the role so well that I found myself at an impasse, or teary, or angry-but these managers had excellent feedback for me each time. One of the other managers would play the role of my teammate, and I would practice giving the feedback. What helped me move forward was practicing the difficult conversations that I needed to have with my teammate. Her bad behavior continued, and finally I talked with some more experienced managers about what I should do. I would leave our one-on-ones unsure if anything that I said had landed. I tried to have a “hard talk” with her about her behavior, but it went sideways. But she rarely acted out when I was around, so I found myself struggling to give this teammate feedback. The work environment was becoming less and less psychologically safe the rest of the team had started to work from home more to avoid being yelled at by her. Subscribe to receive it!Īs a manager, I had no idea how to handle my first disruptive teammate. This post originally appeared in my newsletter.
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Roleplaying Difficult Conversations | Lara Hogan Lara Hogan: Site